The orange continues

In case you haven't noticed, it's getting warm out. With this blessed warmer weather comes the thing that many people look forward to every year..... weddings. Being a Wildwood Metropark employee, I see dozens of weddings a year. Today, for example, there were 8 wedding parties there for photos and two for ceremonies. Many of these wedding parties are lovely, but sometimes there is just one that makes you cringe. In order to help prevent cringing, I offer this advice to brides and the members of their wedding parties. I am not trying to support conformity or endorse stereotypes, but these are just things that bother me.

1) Brides: Please chose bridesmaids dresses that are all the same color, or two complimentary colors. If you decide that you need every bridesmaid to wear a different colored dress, I suggest that you reconsider. The weddings I have seen (and they are many) where the bridesmaids dresses are all different colors make it look like someone ate a clown, chased it with a bottle of whiteout, and vomited.

2) All members of the wedding party: I don't care how bad the craving is, do not pose for wedding pictures with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth. It's tacky and makes you look like a hick. At least put it out until after the photos are over.

3) Grooms: Please, please, please don't wear a powder blue tuxedo with a ruffled shirt. The only situation in which this outfit would be ok is if you hopped in your pa's pickup with your wife/cousin and freshly trimmed mullet to go live in your new house on redneck lane. I don't care if you're trying to make a fashion statement, you look like you're suck in the 80's. Really not a good fashion idea.

4) Brides: I know that it's your big day and all, but it would be best to find a dress that fits. I know not everyone can afford a custom made dress that would make you look great, but that doesn't mean that you need to get one that is unflattering. I can tell you the number of brides I have seen that have an ill fitting very unflatteringly cut dress. With the amount of dresses on the market, I'm sure that every bride can find a lovely dress at a reasonable price.

5) Everybody at the wedding: When you have a wedding in a public area, like a metropark, do not get pissy when random people that you do not know stop to watch the wedding. IT'S A PUBLIC PARK FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!! You knew that when you rented the area. There will be other people in the park, and they will be making noise. Do not take out your frustration on a park employee who has asked you to remove your car from a place where it is not supposed to be parked.

6)Brides: No matter how thin or good-looking you are, wearing a dress that looks like a sequin factory exploded on it is not a good idea. I know that it may make you feel like a princess and all, but it's hard for a photographer to get decent pictures when your dress is acting like a giant mirror. Besides, you don't really want to blind the people watching the whole thing, do you?

I think that's it. This rant was brought on by the fact that in the past two days I have spent a combined time of 2o.50 hours at work. I'm tired and a little grumpy, but i feel much better now. I plan to go out tonight since I'll be laid up most of next week. Hopefully that will relieve some of the stress.