Fluid state of mind

I possess a fluid state of mind, much like a lake on a warm summer day. Swirling colors and thoughts intermingle making pools of thought and ideas all through my brain. Prod the pool and it shimmers, look deep inside and see the things that make me...... me.

Soooooooo, once more, I've been thinking a lot. There's been a lot of changes going on around me and it kinda made me sit down and look at what I'm doing with my life and where I'd like to be in, say, five years.

I want to be back in school. Don't get me wrong, I love working for the parks.... in the Manor and on the Boat, but I need more then just my Associates Degree. I'd love to have my Masters in Psych, maybe even a Ph.D..... but that's gonna take a wile and I need to get moving. I really do love psychology, I'm glad I chose it as my major, but I want to start with my career.... and with the helping of people that I could do with that career.

I want a house. Not now, but someday. I want a place I can make my own, decorate as I like... maybe even make one wall into a painting of Piet Mondrian's Lozenge in Black, Gray, and White. Park my car in the garage and walk out on a porch with a big wooden swing on it. I'd like an herb garden out in the backyard... fresh herbs for cooking. Maybe a few cats......

No, I don't plan on being the crazy cat lady........

Above all, I finally decided I want a relationship. My history with relationship of the committed kind has been.... checkered.... at best. Guys don't tend to stick around for long with me, but that's because I kinda have a very bad radar when it comes to guys. I don't like being alone, it's not the best feeling in the world.... sometimes you just need someone who'll be there and not care if you look like crap and will listen when you're had a bad day.

I'm not ready for marriage, and VERY not ready for kids.... but still, I'd like a relationship that will last for over eight months.... I'd like to break the close to two year dry spell I've had with dating. That's right, two years almost without a single date. Odd really..... but, what can ya do. At least now I know I want it, and I'm sure I'll find it at some point.

I've started my yoga again, only I'm doing more with the meditation. I'm sleeping a lot better and I feel very Zen about things.... I didn't think I missed it all as much as I did, it's a great way to destress.

So, finally, an update.

Oh, btw... good luck Ruth on the move to Cali. I know you'll have a blast ;)

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