Once Upon A Time

I was asked today by some one at work if I thought being home schooled did me more good then being public schooled would have. Out of habit I said yes, because I always thought it did. The rest of the day was spent trying to figure out what my home education did that public ed wouldn't have done.

Everything I thought of led back to my mother. She was always a driving force behind me,. no matter what it was I wanted to do. She taught me that above all, everything you do is a learning experience. That helped me a lot through high school, college, and just life in general.

This led me to another question... do I regret anything? Everyone says they have regrets, things they wish they could have done or explored, 'what ifs' if you will. I though on that idea for hours and I finally came up with an answer.

No.

I don't regret anything. The things I have done in my still short life have made me who I am, and I like who I am. My education, my work experience, my relationships. I'll always wonder what would have happened if I did something different, but I don't regret not doing the things I've done.

However, looking back at thing I noticed something odd. I tend to give up what I want and/or need so other people are happy. It's not that I don't want to fight for these things, but I'd rather see someone else with a smile on their face then fight them.

I know I'm not a Saint, I'm far from it... but I've done a lot of things that would surprise people. Just recently I gave up something I wanted more then anything else, and I gave it up because it was needed elsewhere. Of course it hurts, it always does.. I just content myself with the thought that someone else is smiling in my place, and that almost makes it worthwhile.

My question now is: When is it my turn? When do I get to be happy? When will I have something all to myself that I won't have to give up?

Karma owes me big time for this.

Now, if you'll pardon me.... the Baileys is calling again.