I'M GRADUATING TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RrrrrrGgggHh!

Okay, I need a new job, that much is clear. I'm so sorry that you all now get to read my rant but if you'd like to be calmed afterward, just scroll down the page and read my partner-in-crime's beautiful poem.

I have been trying to teach my techno-phobic boss how to answer her own goddamn email for about two years. This no secret. So on Tuesday, a day which will live in infamy, she finally sees the wisdom in my persistant suggestions. "I think it's time I learned" was the phrase she used when she asked me to teach her how to answer her email. I was elated! They gave me the title "Technical Manager" at Claudia's which unfortunately means that I have to take care of or fix everything from a computer on the network, to a faulty stapler. This is a source of annoyance to me.

So there I am at 5:00, saying that I do actually have a class at 5:30, but that I'd skip it if she were serious about learning her email. She says she'll be done in 15 minutes on the phone with some nut. 35 minutes later, she is interrupted and I ask if se wants to do this today. "Oh my goodness I totally forgot you were still here! Yes! Lets do this now!" she says.

We sit down at now 5:40ish and I get as far as telling her what the "Internet Explorer Icon" looks like (yeah, we're starting at the begining...) and the phone rings for her. It's her husband with whom she proceeds to have a 15 minute conversation the subject of which is whether or not to purchase a tennis racket for their middle child. (Obviously that had to be done just then, right?) She gets off the phone and I instruct her in the fine art of double-clicking the icon to pull up a webpage and my sister (poor Clara) interrupts us again to say that another urgent phone call is waiting for her on line 3.

GODDAMNIT!!!!

My face obviously conveyed my annoyance because my sister looked so ridicuously apologetic and worried at the same time I made a note to tell her that it was in no way her fault later. Claudia also noticed my anger and asked, in her absolutly unacceptable, unprofessional, unthinking, and careless way...

"Can Ruthie just show me on Thursday?"

I should have said no. I should have thrown my nametag that had the silly little title "Technical Manager" at her. I should have screamed at her how unacceptable it was that she even said that, since she knew I'd been waiting to show her how to do this for years. I should have quit on the spot. I shouldn't have cared...

But I do and I told her to go ahead and have Ruthie show her, even though I'd waited an hour for her into time that I wasn't even scheduled to work. I don't want to ever see her again. I don't want to have to deal with her ever again. I hate the fact that because they pay me well and offer a flexible for school schedule, I can be made so angry and so ineffectual at my own job and I won't quit. It shouldn't matter to me but as strange as it sounds, I don't think caring about your job is a bad thing.

I cried for twenty minutes in sheer frustration (this is only one example of the complete incompetnancy in managerial technique at Claudia's Health Food Market) then I started to fold laundry and clean. Jason got home and I cried for another twenty minutes. I'm okay now it seems but this is just so ridiculous I have to find a better place.

If any of you have any suggestions as to how to deal with her and my working environment, I'd appreciate them. As a good friend once said of Claudia's... "This isn't a health food store, it's Claudia's emotional pinwheel"

Okay, done now... read the poem down there

Cold Currents

I’m in the same cold water as you
Traped in the current
On the edge of something
Much to deep
Kicking for the surface
As you held my hand

Legs tangeled together
As we try to breathe
Reaching for the promise
Of something
Weighing us down
While we want to see

Cool calm water
Pulls us back down
You draged me with you
Couldn't stand to see me go
Away from the current
Leaving you alone

I’m so tired
But I can’t sleep
Cold water keeps me moving
And you're still holding my hand
Making me remember you
Trying to breathe

Random thoughts in the snow

"Opened the fridge for the fourth time in 10 minutes. What am I looking for in there anyway, redemption? Maybe it's hidden behind the cottage cheese. Got to say though, it doesn't seem very filling.

Maybe I am looking for something else in the fridge, something that doesn't need to be kept cool. Perhaps what I'm trying to fill with food isn't a physical hunger. Although cottage cheese does sound good right now.

Close the fridge, hopefully this time it'll stay closed. What am I really looking for? I know it's not food. I think it's a hunger of the soul. What does a soul eat? Definitely not cottage cheese. Art? Music? Friends? Or maybe love? I won't find any of those where I'm looking. Need to broaden my search, check out the cupboards

So where can I find what my soul needs? It's not like you can just walk outside and there it is. I've got no special radar for this sort of thing. I think I just need to be patient. If I wait, maybe it'll find me. I'll bet it'll be when I'm not looking.

Still hungry. I guess I'll go back to the fridge, maybe I'll get lucky this time and find what I'm looking for, because I don't really want cottage cheese."

In case anyone is wondering, this is a form of prose poetry. Everything inside of the quote marks makes up the poem. This is the first kind of poem I've written in prose form, so please let me know if you think it's any good.

Muffins

Wow! I guess I should talk about shutting down the blog more often! Maggie's right, at least now I know who reads this thing. Based on the feedback I got that was placed between the verbal sparring in the comments section, I have decided to keep the blog going. There will be some changes though, like the new template that I'm now using. I kinda like it, not as dark n' creepy. There will be more poetry, especially since class will be ending soon and I'll have a ginormous amount of free time on my hands. Also, I hope there will be more comments. Yes, I am a constant need of feedback and validation. Please keep this in mind.

Jason and Mike............... I gotta say that you guys have outdone yourselves. I knew that after I read Mikes comment that things would get interesting, but DAMN! As much as I hate to see people argue, it really was an interesting battle of wits that you guys had going on there (I was rather amused by the testosteroni comment Jason). I think that it would be awesome if you guys started lifting together. Who knows, you guys might just get along.

Now it's time for the update part of the post. SCHOOL'S ALMOST OVER!!!!!!!!! I really can't wait for graduation. It's getting warm out too, so that causes me to have an endless supply of happy. Going to the doctor today, we'll see what happens. I really don't like doctors. At work Monday I wrote "Oven baked God" instead of "Oven baked Cod" on the specials board. How embarrassing is that? I hate the fact that my handwriting is so curly that it messes up my words. Gotta admit, it is kinda funny. Hehehee.......... baked God.


"Passion comes cloaked in the mists of the night, Darkness is framed by desire. Shadows have eyes filled with longing and pain, Love wears a death mask and life is a liar."

Who hasn't shot a crossbow out their car window.

Wow, it's been over a week since my last post. I feel like I'm falling down on the job. Is it just me, or am I the only one posting on this thing anymore? I was thinking about shutting down this blog, since every member on this one seems to have another blog as well. I don't really want to, but the whole reason I started this was so I could have a blog for me, Maggie, and our friends to comment on. However, Maggie now has a blog with boyfriend Jason (which I don't mind at all, it's kind of cute) and people rarely ever comment on this thing. If anybody reads this within the next week, please send me some sort of feedback on what you think I should do, I really need your help on this one.

In other news, graduation is in two weeks. I'm so damn excited!!!!!! High school graduation was nowhere near as much fun. I already know what I'm wearing, and what I'm doing with my hair. Normally, I don't think about these things until the last moment. On a related matter, I found out that I might be able to get my first semester taken off of my transcript. You all know what a crappy first semester I had, so it would be possibly the greatest thing ever if I could get it taken off of my records. If it's done soon enough, I might even be able to graduate with Honors. We'll see what happens.

Also, in some far more important news, Matt Drake will be reciving his Purple Heart on April 18th. Matt is now able to read and is looking much better. If you want to see photos, click here.

But we call it the "right" side because it's right.

Been awhile since my last post. so this one might be kinda long. Just so you all know, I've had a really bad day and I feel the need to vent. I got up at 6:45 this morning to go to the doctor at 8:30, and got lost on the way because this is the first time I've been to his new office. I call to let them know I'm running late (just to be polite) and am told that the office doesn't open until 9. So I'm thinking that I mistook the time of my appt. and am about 20 min. early. I hang out in my car until 9, go to the office and check in, and am told that I need to reschedule because I was late and they're all booked up. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem. However, I don't go to the doctor unless I really need to (like for an emergency or something) so when I go, it's really important. Not only did I drive a half-hour to get there, but the new receptionist was less than polite when I tried to explain the situation. I ended up getting a new appt. on Tuesday, but that means that I have to wait till then to find out some stuff that I'd rather know now. Got home, relaxed a bit, picked up some hours at work, things were going well until it was almost time for me to leave Ciao!. Tim (my manager) says he wants to talk to me for a second. I'm thinking "great, maybe he's found out what they're doing with the old Stixx building". Nope. Tim asks me if I would be interested in the position of busser, not in addition to, but instead of hosting. WTF! I'm a great host! I haven't even been at that place for 3 months and he doesn't think that I'm working enough. Maybe I'd work more if he gave me more hours! I said that I'd really rather stay as a host, but he kept saying that I should really think about bussing because hosting just isn't a good fit for me. Whatever. I think I'm going to have to find a new job. It's not that I don't like Ciao! I do. But it's not as great a place to work as Stixx was. I think that the problem is that I don't fit in as well at Ciao! We'll see what happens.

In other news, I saw "Sin City" on Thursday. It was totally awesome. Got a little sunburned today. In retrospect, probably not a very good idea seeing as how I am about as pale as ............ well, something that's really really pale. Want to go out this weekend, so Mike needs to give my cell phone a call. Mmmmmmm......... barbecue. Picked up my cap and gown for graduation on the 29th. I have now officially changed my major. Goodbye photography, hello psychology. Fun stuff. Know what else is fun? Yeah, well that too. I was really thinking of sleep though. Sleep is good.


Wind you up and make you crawl to me. Tie you up until you call to me.

That's a splendid macine gun you have there officer!

Right, so I've had a hell of a day. For starters, I'm sick yet again. It's this damn cold thing that just won't go away. I had to get up at 6:30 am to go to work at the Manor House. Why you ask? Because it's tea day! Weeeeeee........ For those of you who don't know what tea day is, on the first Friday of every month (from April to November) the Manor House has a big tea. We make and serve all the food, and sometimes we serve up to 350 people in 3 or 4 hours. Most of the volunteers we have helping with the tea, and many of the staff, are old enough to be my grandparents. This means that I, being the young, strong girl that I am, have to run around and get/lift/move things for the volunteers. So after doing this for 7 1/2 hours, I left the Manor house to go work at Ciao! Of course, on the day when we only have two people on as hosts, we have over 200 reservations (sounds of me banging my head against the wall). I got off from Ciao! at about 9:45 pm, bringing my total workday to a lovely 13 hours and about 15 minuets. To top it all off, I get out to my car and I have a coughing fit, and in the process I managed to dislocate a rib or two. Luckily I got them to pop back in after a bit, so I won't be too sore later. I just keep thinking about how nice a bottle of wine and a back rub sounds. (sigh) Guess I'll have to settle for orange juice and a nice warm beanbag.

Anyway, I plan on getting a good deal of sleep and having a nice yoga class in the morning. I swear that I will have a good weekend even if I have to wring the bejezzus out of it's neck. Maybe I'll go see "Sin City " with people. Later all!