Fluid state of mind

I possess a fluid state of mind, much like a lake on a warm summer day. Swirling colors and thoughts intermingle making pools of thought and ideas all through my brain. Prod the pool and it shimmers, look deep inside and see the things that make me...... me.

Soooooooo, once more, I've been thinking a lot. There's been a lot of changes going on around me and it kinda made me sit down and look at what I'm doing with my life and where I'd like to be in, say, five years.

I want to be back in school. Don't get me wrong, I love working for the parks.... in the Manor and on the Boat, but I need more then just my Associates Degree. I'd love to have my Masters in Psych, maybe even a Ph.D..... but that's gonna take a wile and I need to get moving. I really do love psychology, I'm glad I chose it as my major, but I want to start with my career.... and with the helping of people that I could do with that career.

I want a house. Not now, but someday. I want a place I can make my own, decorate as I like... maybe even make one wall into a painting of Piet Mondrian's Lozenge in Black, Gray, and White. Park my car in the garage and walk out on a porch with a big wooden swing on it. I'd like an herb garden out in the backyard... fresh herbs for cooking. Maybe a few cats......

No, I don't plan on being the crazy cat lady........

Above all, I finally decided I want a relationship. My history with relationship of the committed kind has been.... checkered.... at best. Guys don't tend to stick around for long with me, but that's because I kinda have a very bad radar when it comes to guys. I don't like being alone, it's not the best feeling in the world.... sometimes you just need someone who'll be there and not care if you look like crap and will listen when you're had a bad day.

I'm not ready for marriage, and VERY not ready for kids.... but still, I'd like a relationship that will last for over eight months.... I'd like to break the close to two year dry spell I've had with dating. That's right, two years almost without a single date. Odd really..... but, what can ya do. At least now I know I want it, and I'm sure I'll find it at some point.

I've started my yoga again, only I'm doing more with the meditation. I'm sleeping a lot better and I feel very Zen about things.... I didn't think I missed it all as much as I did, it's a great way to destress.

So, finally, an update.

Oh, btw... good luck Ruth on the move to Cali. I know you'll have a blast ;)

Send POSTCARDS!!!!!!!!

Maggie.....

Is never allowed to pick the movie..... ever again.

EVIL LAVA BABIES OF DOOM!

Here's hoping I pass out soon.... 'cause I ain't falling asleep willingly....

Some entertainment for you.,...

Sooooooooo... I was trying to look up some god 1870's slang for work and, well... I found some.... interesting, things....


THEY SAID: Something was done..."like Grant took Richmond"

WE SAY: Something was done very quickly

THEY SAID: Ugly'er than the south end of a north bound mule.

WE SAY: UGLY!

THEY SAID: Nice bumperkit

WE SAY: Nice butt

THEY SAID: Hotter than a June bride in a featherbed...

WE SAY: I'm pretty overheated...

And, my favorite.......

THEY SAID: He's so horny,that the crack of dawn isn't safe. (N.W. PA.)

WE SAY: Watch out! He's quite amorous.



Hope it was as good for you as it was for me ;)

A Monday off...

Last week I had a day off. I decided to go visit my parents, run some errands... joyride a bit... the normal Monday stuff. One of the first things I did was stop at Randy's Farm Market. This place has been in the same spot since my mom was a kid, she worked there as a teen. It's family owned and they grow a lot of the stuff they sell there.

I parked my car on the gravel and blacktop, not even bothering to lock it when I got out. The market is a small wooden building, painted red and white, with a small storage area off to the left for hay and pumpkins, when they're in season. The front of the stand is open, the doors pulled up like a garage one might be. Concert floor, wooden tables for produce.... the kind of thing you see on the country roads in the middle of nowhere, which this almost is.

My toes curled in the best way as I walked in, the warm afternoon sun bringing out the smell of the fruit up front as a few tiny stones got stuck in my sandals. Fresh Red Haven peaches, yellow and red plums, cantaloupe and watermelon... there's even a pile of sweet corn sitting off to the right, still in the husks and just begging to be taken home and eaten. I made a b-line right for the peaches after a shake out my sandals. Nothing is better then a warm, perfectly ripe Red Haven. They smell so good... all of it does.... it took me back to when I was clinging to my mothers knees and helping her pick out fruit for the house.

It's that nostalgia I thought of as a stood there, doing what I had seen my mom do for so many years. Grab a bag, pick up the fruit, smell it and look for bruises... branch scars are ok, but no holes, place it in the bag and repeat with the next fruit. Pretty soon I had three bags. Early Bartlett pears, Red Haven's, and nectarines. I almost hated putting them in the bags, it seemed like they should have room to breathe, to show off their colors.... I picked up a half a cantaloupe on the way to the checkout, just for good measure... that and it was 99 cents for a good sized half a cantaloupe....

I took the bags back to my car, set them on the floor of the back seat and put on my sunglasses, causing a small cloud of dust to kick up behind my car as I headed back to the real world. A few minutes into the drive, my car smelled like the Market, carrying that with me all the way home and into my apartment when I was done running around for the day. I let it all sit out for a bit, basking in the colors and the small of my fresh fruit.... they did not disappoint either, when it came time for snacking, each piece was just ripe enough to make me with I was walking barefoot through the grass.

Some things we can't forget. Whenever I small a peach, I think of the Market, and that makes me think of home... sitting in the backyard and watching my mom garden. I can't help it, I was kinda raised in the 'country' of southeast MI. I eat green beans, berries, and peas right out of the garden without even washing them. I love to walk barefoot, I do it whenever I can, and the stars are something everyone should lay down and look at before they die.

Things don't always have to be as hard as life makes them..... go eat a peach and play in the dirt a little ;)